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Kodokuto
31 March 2006 @ 02:17 pm
Due to the fact that I don't write here anymore, and no one reads, and what I think is far too impossible to write in a public journal, I am retiring this journal. I'm not going to post anymore. I'm going to keep a journal, but privately. I'm also going to keep a backup of this journal. It was a fun ride, but it's too much now. Too much is going on. I might come back and read all my friends' journals, but that's about it. This song is my ending to this livejournal. Enjoy.

the pillows- Sayonara YUNIBÂSU (SO LONG UNIVERSE)
from MY FOOT

Namae mo shiranai                                        (I don't know your name)
Kimi no koto omoidasu yo                             (But I remember you)
Sayonara YUNIBÂSU                                      (Goodbye forever, universe)
Boku wa mou koko wo deru yo                     (I, too, am leaving this place)

Dare no koe mo ima wa kikoenai                 (Now I can't hear anyone's voice)
Uchuusen no mado kara hoshi wo miru     (I see the stars from the window of the universe)

Kotoba mo kawasazu                                     (And I can't change my words)
Kimi no koto akirameru yo                             (I've given up on you)
Sayonara YUNIBÂSU                                      (Goodbye forever, universe)
Sukoshi dake namida ga deta                     (Only a few tears are shed)

Inaku natta koto mo ki tzukanai                     (I've left but nothing hurts)
Uchuusen de kono mama hikari ni naru     (In the universe, I've become the light)

Dare no koe mo ima wa kikoenai                 (Now I can't hear anyone's voice)
Uchuusen no mado kara hoshi wo miru     (I see the stars from the window of the universe)
Inaku natta koto mo ki tzukanai                     (I've left but nothing hurts)
Uchuusen de kono mama hikari ni naru     (In the universe, I've become the light)

If you would still like to stay in contact with me, my AIM name is kodokuto or seratsukichan.
 
 
Current Mood: calmcalm
 
 
Kodokuto
05 March 2006 @ 02:15 am
Other than the fact that there is a creepy group on Facebook of people that want to ask Doi-sensei out, I've been pretty good. I've figured out if I use the same mindset I did when I had to forget people in the past I had to deal with, it's pretty successful. Pretty sad, but it works. So far, it's been working. And I feel so much better, and I'm more lively. I feel like, I can be more like me, and be the best I can and not worry about other people.
I slept too much today, and I'm about to go to sleep again. Last week was a very busy week. Projects, readings, and Amelia, our rat. Szu-Ju made an appointment for her to go to the vet, because she had thius weird tumor on her face, and it was making her nose sideways and she sounded weird when she breathed. Wednesday night Amelia did something, I guess she scratched her face, and it opened her tumor. It was bleeding, and it was probably one of the grossest things I've even seen, especially since white tissue from the inside of the tumor were falling out of her face. For about half an hour we debated on either taking her to the animal emergency room or waiting until the appointment on Friday. I said that I couldn't stand to see her suffering, and that it would probably keep bleeding (since she kept scratching it) until she died. But, also, if we took her, mostly likely all they could do is put her out of her misery. So we went to the emergency room (not too far from Shelbourne), where the doctor told us just that--that she's too old for them to do anything except to put her to sleep. So we gave Amelia to the doctor, and we left.
Then I had to deal with that awkward situation of consoling Szu-Ju, which maybe I did, I don't know, I don't think that is something I'm good at. The for some reason, at 1 am, we ended up on the strip and at the "drive thru"--which became the walk-thru, at Krystals and had some food....then sleep at 3 am. I don't know if it's a good thing or not, but I think it was kind of a bonding experience. Maybe that's what I needed. Maybe I'm trying to avoid that, but I think I really need it.
 
 
Current Mood: hopefulhopeful
Current Music: SNL
 
 
Kodokuto
26 February 2006 @ 04:04 am
Have you ever heard of an ISP turning off all of its customers' ports (except for browsers) in a whole apartment building for over one month in order to alievate bandwidth problems and to find out "who" is taking up all the bandwidth? Is that really neccessary? And does that require shutting off all ports for over one month?
I finally was able to use AIM today. It seems they finally opened that port. And ironically, I am able to finally connect via bit torrent.
HOWEVER, thanks to the fact that UT uses an outside proxy for it's catalog, I can't use the library catalog or course reserves, so I can't do homework here.
Also, I can't connect to Maple Story, an online game.
Tommorrow I'm going to call them, for the 5th time, because I fucking want to play Maple Story. And if Mike can play it on 56k, I'm pretty sure they could open up the fucking port. I don't know man, that might take up all the bandwidth for the whole building. I mean, when Mike played for 5 five hours, he had downloaded a whopping 3 mb during his play. That might be too much for Esper, excuse me, Xxpansion Networks (they have to change their name since they are fucking BANKRUPT BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING LOSERS) to handle.
 
 
Current Mood: angryangry
 
 
Kodokuto
15 February 2006 @ 04:18 am
I found this awesome site that I will not share where I can get awesome Korean songs from MegaUpload.
MegaUpload, although it lets me slowly download some stuff, it also gives me this horrifying popup of the saddest losers (not lasers) on the planet of the female species. It's like, some kind of "Lowered Expectations" online dating thing where all the profile pictures are of boobs, butts, and women in their underwear, and not many faces. And most of the boobs being old and heavily distorted by gravity or the sun (I fear). It makes me so sad that women still degrade even themselves by saying all they have to offer are their tainted boobs and whatnots. But what do you expect when you are whoring yourself on the internet.
This place should be for information, not desperate attempts to attract other desperate people.
Hopefully natural selection will run its course...
 
 
Kodokuto
21 January 2006 @ 05:24 pm
And why does he create people that make this shit?

Well, my computer can finally play music and videos, and now the next task is Asian font input and getting it to recognize my mp3 player.

Aaaaaand that's about it. Now I'm going to study my kick ass paper topics because I am the real.
 
 
Current Mood: busybusy
Current Music: woobie noises
 
 
 
Kodokuto
My computer has been reborn to Linux. I am using Ubuntu, currently the "Hoary Hedgehog" tho I'm trying to update to "Breezy Badger". I tried to burn an image CD of the update and it just copied the iso to the disc. As you can see, I'm not quite use to it yet. However my computer is faster, and I have an awesome screensaver of flying toasters and toast. Sometimes the toast is really fast.
This is going to be a whore of a semester, but just because of the same reason last semester was a whore. It's all about me and my shadow.
I was going to write a big post when my grandmother died, but it's been awhile, since winter break. Yeah, sad and all, but she's in a better place since she was treated like trash almost all her life. So here's a list of events:
1) Got really pissed at my brother because he treated me like a child when I'm going to be more successful than him. Came to find out that he was just a jealous bastard. Well, not literally bastard. Had to stay at his place for New Year's.
2) I got to see real life cats. And the cutest puppy in the world, as well as the ugliest one. Both of which wangs I saw. Huge dog wangs are gross, and tiny puppy wangs are sad and destroy innocence! Dogs kinda remind me of guys...
3) My niece and nephew still remember me, and love me to death even though I don't do anything. My nephew is 6 but he's going to grow up to be a lady killer. Hopefully not literally.
4) My mom is still weird, BUT actually said she wants to clean the house so that when she dies we don't have to sift thru her shit. DaD doesn't think she will do it.
5) My grandma looked awesome when she was young. Then she had to marry this ugly ass military guy that beat the shit out of her and her kids. Outcome: a full-fledged family that is messed up AND ugly. Everyone in my family has been married at least 3 times (except my mom) and has kids from each marriage and my aunt lives in a trailer. Sad to say, but my mom is probably the least fucked up of them all. Moral of the story: Just one bad decision can hurt MANY people.
6) My lesbionic aunt and uncle have no jobs and sniff crack, and my uncle stole all the savings from my grandmother, and her food, and argued with his hoe infront of her, which is probably why she died.
7) My grandmother was a strong person to deal with all this drama for her whole life, which I admire, but at the same time, I think it could have been avoided if she would stand up for herself (maybe not so much the abuse from her husband, since it was like the 50's so no one would probably help her) but at least kicking her 40-something yr. old druggie bum son out of the house.
8) My greatgrandmother (her mom) was a flapper hoe. My grandmother didn't know her dad, just all her mom's boyfriends.
9) I know absolutely nothing about my dad's side of the family.
10) I finally saw Elizabeth, and I'm so proud of her (even though she's a little bit of your average teen right now), she was engaged (she's 18 btw) and called it off so that she could go to college. Haven't seen her in almost 6 years and in one day we just went back to where we left off, I'm so glad. Also saw my incestual illiterate cousin can drive a car. So, if he can, then yeah I can.
And that's about it. I wonder how'd my shadow feel if I wanted to go for a PhD.
 
 
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
Current Music: Awesome music
 
 
Kodokuto
11 December 2005 @ 02:53 pm
OMG  
I want to stab CPO in the face. Everytime I login it keeps sending me to the main screen and I have to login again. It doesn't help that my internet is slower than .000000000k internet, if that was every made. Well, I guess it is now, and I have it.
I wanted to check my grades, although most likely they aren't up yet, and it doesn't really matter since I already know I have all A's (how can I not, I'm awesome).
I have to clean my room. It is pretty sad, and that makes me sad. Although my hands still hurt. I actually have so much to do, and yet I will probably just sit around instead.
 
 
Current Mood: complacentcomplacent
Current Music: some Headphones President song
 
 
Kodokuto
06 December 2005 @ 08:47 am
Is my hand disease.
Last night I found out what it was even before I went to the doctor.
It's "dyshidrosis"-which is said to be stress related, but since I get this every winter around the same time, I don't think something happens to stress me out every winter at the same time--even finals--because I don't have finals >=3. Stupid disease. I blame my dad. And they gave me this prescription for this wonderful cancer cream. Isn't that great? I am so sleepy and hungry right now. -_-
 
 
Current Mood: discontentdiscontent
Current Music: hand blisters popping
 
 
Kodokuto
21 November 2005 @ 04:40 pm
I went to Makiko's birthday party. It was interesting because all the Japanese people just talked together, and then us Ameerrkans just played Guitar Hero. Well, not "us"--I feared it because I have no guitar-hand coordination. But at least I could understand what Makiko-tachi were saying. It makes me sleepy to constantly hear Korean and only know the English words, or "bag".
I gave Makiko these cool socks. When I saw them, they looked like something she would like, so I got them. I also gave her some Chinese earrings (I had two sets) and nice sparkly perfume stuff. Epperson gave her the ultimate gift--an engagement ring--yet hasn't proposed to her -_-. I'm glad Mike couldn't understand that conversation or it might give him ideas.
We also watched some weird (well, they're all weird) Kung Fu movie (dubbed) featuring Pai Mei, the old dude that was in Kill Bill (yeah, he's a real person). It was... weird. The end was so anti-climatic...it had no climate? Something like that.
Well I just broke something in my ear. And I made the most awesome (insert random name of Japanese food here) ever. Except made by a Japanese or Korean person. And that's about it. Rain sucks.
 
 
Kodokuto
16 November 2005 @ 12:42 am
"Social plagiarism".

Very useful. Yet I can't find any articles about it. Nor can I find anything about the psychology of copycats. It's about to drive me literally insane. I can't understand how people can live their lives dependent on every-freakin'-body else. However, I don't think they do this consciously. But I'm so tired of it.
 
 
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: something that you probably want to listen to as well